


The Other Choice

by kethni



Category: The Bill
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 05:18:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3237731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kethni/pseuds/kethni





	The Other Choice

Luke is getting into his stride now. This is good, so much better than with any of the girls he has snogged, better than he imagined.

 

There is a noise outside the office and Craig shoves him away. Luke is surprised and a little hurt at this reaction but he hides it well.

 

“It’s okay,” he says, turning to look out of the window. “It was just the Inspector’s office door swinging in the draught.” Luke turns back with a ready smile. “No problem.”

 

Craig is pale and sickly looking.

 

“Had your laugh?”

 

“Sorry?” Luke’s smile disappears as Craig glares at him.

 

“Or was it a bet?” Craig straightens his clothes and scrubs his mouth with his sleeve. Luke slumps against the wall.

 

“I… what? Why are you being like this?”

 

“Because I don’t like being played for a fool! Go on, get out! Tell all your mates how you got one over on the stupid fairy.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Luke touches Craig’s hand gently. “I’m not playing.”

 

Craig pulls his hand away.

 

“Do you seriously expect me to believe that you suddenly decided to do that? What is it, an initiation ceremony? I suppose it’s more humiliating than running around the station with no clothes on.”

 

Luke stares at him silently for a long moment and then shakes his head.

 

“I’m sorry Sarge,” he says very quietly. “I like you a lot and I somehow got the idea you liked me. I was obviously mistaken. I’m sorry to have taken up your valuable time.”

 

Luke turns on his heel and walks out. Craig stares at the spot where Luke was standing, before pulling himself together and realising what he has just done.

 

“Hang on!” Craig yells, rushing around the desk after Luke. He trips over the guest chair and sprawls onto the floor.

 

By the time he stumbles into the corridor Luke is long gone. 

 

***

 

Luke trudges home, gives his mum a kiss on the cheek, and runs a bath.

 

All those weeks, he thinks dully as he watches the water rush into the bath, all those weeks of getting up my nerve to let him know how I felt. All those conversations I rehearsed in my head. I was going to subtly let him know that I was interested but nervous. He was supposed to help me, show me how it all works, look after me a little bit. I actually thought he’d look after me. I’m so stupid. I even had my coming out speech rehearsed to give to Mum. What was I thinking of? He doesn’t want the likes of me. It was supposed to be so simple. I can’t believe I thought he liked me. How arrogant can you get? Him interested in me, as if.

 

Luke takes his shoes and puts them neatly in his bedroom. Then he returns to the bathroom and locks the door.

 

***

 

Craig pushes scrambled egg around on his plate. Well, he thinks, stuffed up that one good and proper. Poor little sod. I can see his face when I close my eyes; that awful, confused expression he had when I started yelling at him. He had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. Better than the other expression though, the one he had just before he left. He looked like I’d strangled his puppy. Why did I say those things to him? He’s starting to edge out and instead of support I castigate him. He’ll probably never talk to me again. He must hate me. I hate me.

 

***

 

Luke slips into the bath and opens up his brand new jar of hair and body mud from the Body Shop. He feels that he deserves every treat he can get right now.

 

The phone starts ringing. Luke ignores it.

 

***

 

Craig tries to carry on reading ‘Monstrous Regiment’, but he can’t settle to it. He has a dull, sullen ache in his belly and his thoughts keep slipping away to the hurt expression in Luke’s eyes.

 

I wanted to help him, Craig thinks, I wanted other things too of course. But I wanted so much to help him. I’ll make it up to him. I’ll talk to him in the morning, apologise, and explain. Grovel and explain. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll talk to him in the morning, it’ll all be sorted out, and we can start over.

 

Yeah, it’ll all be okay in the morning.

 

***

 

Luke pads into his bedroom swaddled in a bathrobe. After a few minutes there is a polite tap on the door. Luke sighs and makes sure he is decent before he opens the door.

 

“Yeah, mum?” He asks in a flat tone. Jenny smiles reassuringly.

 

“Tony rang up. He was a bit worried; he said he thought you were all going to the pub, to celebrate Reg being safe.”

 

“I wasn’t in the mood. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

 

“Is everything okay?”

 

“Yeah, it’s been a long day though.” Luke tries to smile.

 

“I’ll make you supper.”

 

“Thanks, Mum.”

 

***

 

Craig goes to bed early. He hasn’t felt this guilty in years and he can’t wait to get it off his chest. He keeps thinking of his first kiss and how crushed he would have been if he had been on the receiving end of that sort of abuse after it.

 

***

 

Luke finishes his supper, washes the dirty plates, and kisses his mum goodnight. He turns off his bedroom light, curls up in bed, and cries so hard that he can hardly breathe.

 

***

 

Craig jolts awake in bed. He had a nightmare that Luke had killed himself while Craig begged him not to. It was horrible, too horrible to go immediately back to sleep, so Craig gets up and makes a cup of hot chocolate.

 

I hope Luke is having nice dreams, he thinks forlornly as he sits alone in the kitchen, not like that one. What if he’s still upset? I shouldn’t have waited. I should have gone after him right away, or at least phoned him when he got home.

 

Craig sighs deeply and goes back to his cold and lonely bed.

 

***

 

Jenny stands outside Luke’s bedroom door. The wailing has changed to a constant, wet, sobbing.

 

“Please, Luke, open the door?” She begs.

 

Luke puts his head under his pillow and continues to weep.

 

***

 

“NO, DON’T SHOOT!”  Craig realises with a start that it was his own voice screaming that has woken him. He has had another vision of Luke in a bloody demise. The first by leaping off a tower block, and this time, by provoking someone to shoot him. Craig looks at his watch, thirty-nine minutes past eleven. It’s late, but arguably not  _that_  late and he’s starting to panic about the state Luke will be in. Craig finds his mobile and looks for Luke’s number.

 

***

 

Luke has finally dropped off into an exhausted slumber. He doesn’t hear the insistent trilling of his phone over and over again.

 

But Jenny does. Luke has left it on the landing window and it wakes her up. Jenny is about to turn it off when she sees the name on the display. 

 

Repeated knocking on his bedroom door, heavy, and none too polite either, wakes Luke up.

 

“Your mobile is going bananas,” Jenny says handing it to him. Luke’s face is puffy and blotchy.

 

“What?” He whispers, looking at it, as it continues to ring.

 

“It’s that Sergeant you’re always complaining about. It must be important.”

 

Luke blinks slowly and closes the door in Jenny’s face.

 

“You’re welcome,” she calls through the door and retreats back to bed.

 

***

 

Luke sits on the bed and finally answers the phone.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Luke, it’s Craig Gilmore, can we talk?”

 

The words come out in a rush and Luke struggles to decipher them.

 

“Craig?”

 

“Yes, are you okay?”

 

“Not really. It’s the middle of the night.” Luke rubs his eyes with his fist.

 

“I know, I’m sorry. I kept having these nightmares that you were going to hurt yourself and it was my fault. I was scared that I’d really upset you.”

 

“You did.”

 

“Can we talk properly, face to face I mean?”

 

“What now?” Luke stands up and looks at himself in the mirror.

 

“Would that be possible?”

 

Luke hesitates. He can see as clear as day what will happen if he says no. Craig will continue to try and make things right, but he won’t have it. Instead he’ll get bounced into a relationship, an engagement, a wedding. Then a hideous outing and an ugly divorce. And no Craig waiting at the end of it. But he doesn’t have any idea what will happen if he says yes.

 

Easy choice.

 

“Yes, um, there’s an all night grill place on the corner of Maple. Do you know it?”

 

“Yeah,” Craig says breathlessly, he is rushing through his bedroom trying to find a good pair of jeans.

 

“I’ll meet you there in half an hour.”

 

“Great.”

 

“Craig?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“This better be bloody good.”

 

***

 

Craig is in the all night grill in exactly seventeen minutes. He orders a mug of tea and sits nursing it. Luke arrives after a couple of minutes. He gets a mug of tea from the counter and sits opposite Craig, but apparently ignoring him.

 

“You okay?” Craig asks gently. “You look a bit…”

 

“You mean I look like I’ve been snivelling for hours,” Luke snaps.

 

“I wasn’t going to put it quite like that.”

 

“Why not? I  _have_  been snivelling for hours. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

 

“No.” Craig leans forward and Luke glares at him with narrowed, angry eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“You couldn’t have said that on the phone?”

 

“I was worried for you. I know how I’d feel if you’d had a go at me that way.”

 

Luke sits back and gulps down some tea.

 

“If I did it for a laugh, then why would I be upset?”

 

“I know you weren’t having a laugh. I tried to catch up with you at the station but I couldn’t.”

 

Luke sniffs and looks directly at Craig for the first time.

 

“Why were you like that?”

 

“I couldn’t believe it was real. I… I’ve had a thing for you since the moment I saw you. I couldn’t believe that you felt the same way. It seemed too good to be true,” Craig says quietly.

 

“A thing for me,” Luke says coldly. “I’m just a piece of meat to you.”

 

“ _No!_ ”

 

“Shush!” Luke hisses. “Everyone in here heard you!”

 

“Sorry. I like you a lot. I’d like… I’d like to start something with you, but I don’t know how you feel about that now.”

 

“You don’t trust me,” Luke says sadly. “And I can’t trust you. Not after this afternoon.”

 

“Then why are you here?” Craig asks, touching Luke’s hand.

 

“I like you  _so much_. I’m ninety nine per cent sure what I am and I’m scared. I don’t know how to  _be_  gay. I thought you could help me, show me, as well as us seeing each other.”

 

“I can do that.”

 

“Not if you’re going to be accusing me of stuff all the time,” Luke says hotly.

 

“It won’t happen again.”

 

“I’m going to need a  _lot_  of help. You understand that, don’t you?” Luke asks doubtfully.

 

“I know. Am I forgiven?”

 

“Do you still want to start something with me?” Luke asks uncertainly.

 

“I’m not going to push. If you don’t want anything romantic, I’ll respect your decision.”

 

“Will you? Well, you’re no fun!”

 

Craig laughs along with him.

 

“I have something for you. A bit crappy though.”

 

“Gimme!” Luke holds out his hands and closes his eyes.

 

Craig pulls a slightly battered bunch of flowers from inside his jacket and puts them in Luke’s hands.

 

“Sorry, the petrol station didn’t have much of a choice,” Craig says sheepishly.

 

Luke opens his eyes and then smells the flowers.

 

“Nobody ever bought me flowers before,” he says quietly.

 

“Sorry, they’re really cruddy.”

 

“You say sorry far too much,” Luke admonishes. “Besides you can buy me a proper bunch of roses tomorrow evening.”

 

“What’s happening tomorrow evening?” Craig grins.

 

“You’re taking me out on a hot date. How else are you going to prove how trustworthy you are?”

 

“I’m so glad you agreed to see me tonight,” Craig says softly.

 

“It was better than the alternative,” Luke says happily.

 

“What was that?”

 

“I’m not sure. I have a horrible feeling it involved a blonde with too little intelligence, and too much experience.”

 

 

The end

 

 


End file.
